Indecisiveness Killed the Self Esteem 

rissa's ramblings (5)

“So what are your plans for after high school?”

The kind woman asked this question with complete sincerity. I panicked.  It’s not like I’ve never heard it before. People have been asking me for as long as I can remember. 

I used to say that I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up.

Then a princess. Then a veterinarian. Then a zookeeper. Then a teacher, again. Then a social worker. And I’m sure you understand where this going… 

I couldn’t and still can’t make up my mind. 

But when you’re young, everyone reminds you of how much time you have. It’s okay when you don’t know.

In the past two weeks I have changed my career choice at least four times. 

It took me 20 minutes to decide on what clothes to wear and another 15 to decide what to eat for breakfast.

When it comes to choosing a piece for the summer piano recital, I struggle every. single. year.

My indecisiveness is a burden to those around me. Not just with the big and important decisions, but the simple ones.

“Can’t you just decide what store to go in already?”

“Hurry up, pick what movie you want to watch!”

“We don’t have all day! What do you want for dinner?”

I feel the way it pulls people down and frustrates them. It’s frustrating for me too.

Indecisive people are over thinkers. They’re panickers and worriers. They have all of the what if’s, why’s, and maybe’s figured out and answered before making any decision. They’re afraid of making the wrong choice.

People say curiosity killed the cat. Well, indecisiveness killed the self esteem.

It fill one’s mind with doubts, fears, and dishonesty.

I don’t know what I’m going to wear to school tomorrow. I don’t know what I want to take for lunch. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

I will probably change my mind a hundred times before I graduate.

But I still have time to decide… and I still have time to change.

 

sincerely-rissa-1

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